parenting through racism

Let me just jump right in... 

My kids go to a charter school in the city that we live in. I love this school; they’ve been there for years and it’s legit like a beautiful community of all types of people. Even though it is a very diverse school, culturally, religiously, and identity wise, there are a handful of close-minded individuals that are starting to make me feel some type of way. 

Not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but now I feel that it is important to note that I am a black woman who is married to a black man, so we have three little black children. We haven’t really had any issues at this school because again, it is very diverse but within the last few weeks my oldest son has mentioned some things about a kid who is white calling his friend who is black, a “black monkey”. Now my initial reaction was to ask my son if he stood up for his friend and addressed this little boy about being racist and I think y’all know what I mean by “addressed” because we don’t play like that young man. My son was pretty much in shock and didn’t really say too much about it. I’m not going to lie, I was a little mad that he let it slide but I held that anger in and used the situation as a teaching moment. I want to be able to trust my kids and their ability to stand up for themselves and for others so even though I want to jump up and go to the school, I also want to let my son have an opportunity to handle it on his own. I asked how he felt about the comment that was made and how he feels he should handle a comment like that in the future if it was to happen again and he understandably was pissed and said he would want to punch the kid. Mind you, my son is a very sweet boy and has never been in a fight or any trouble at school so for him to feel like that makes me sad. I mean, if it was me as a kid I know that I didn’t really let things slide. I grew up with all boy cousins, so fighting was the first way I would settle things. I was also the oldest sibling and one of the oldest cousins so I’ve been very protective since a young age. I may have been the smallest of the bunch but I was the one who was ready for whatever at any point. That said, I would have definitely slapped the kid in his mouth back in the day but now people legit press charges on kids so is that how I want my son to handle it? I of course don’t want him to tolerate any type of disrespect and I won't be mad at whatever way he decides to go about dealing with a person who does disrespect him in any way but I’m for sure confused as to how to go about this as a parent. And even though everything in me wants to put my hair in two ponytails and throw on a backpack so I can go talk to that little boy myself I know that’s not appropriate, and I don’t need to be in anybody’s jail. They don’t tell you that parenting involves putting how you really feel to the side so that you don’t have your kid out here fighting everyone and then you're having to pull up to fight somebody’s momma.  At the end of the day, I just want my kids to know two things, always defend themselves and anyone being bullied and always know that their parents have their backs no matter what. This is a situation I wasn’t prepared for, but I trust that we supplied our son with the skills to take care of it. It’s sad that we teach our kids not to judge others and to be accepting of everyone only to have to explain that not all people do the same. Y’all just pray for us because the Lord knows that my old ways want to come out. I just hope this doesn’t become a thing....