Sheeshhhh ya girl has been down bad. So, in my last post I mentioned having stomach pain. The past couple of weeks I've been pretty much living on a heating pad because of this constant pain and if that wasn’t enough to deal with, I decided to get a cold with a high fever and terrible headache for a little extra razzle dazzle. Usually, I can push through and get things done but this time around all I could do was sleep. Luckily a friend of mine is big on natural healing and she recently gave me an herb mixture to try out, safe to say I loved it and it helped get me through.
So back to this stomach thing. I was diagnosed with endometriosis a few years back and the process of getting to the diagnosis was exhausting. I went to multiple different doctors and was pretty much told several times that the pain I was feeling was all in my head. I know that my background with anxiety and depression played a huge part in that and every doctor automatically assumed the symptoms were more mental. I truly gave up on trying to figure out what was going on. The sad part is, I was not only feeling intense pain but I was also experiencing super heavy periods that lasted months at a time, obviously that wasn’t a mental thing and with the encouragement of my grandma I went to the doctor again and this time I pushed for answers. I went in with a list of tests I wanted done such as ultrasounds and bloodwork and even requested to be sent to a womans health specialist. Bloodwork came back and I found out that I have an underactive thyroid (hypothyroidism) which explained my constant fatigue and some of the depressive symptoms. I went to the specialist and was finally diagnosed with endometriosis, I seriously never felt so relieved because I was told for years that I was basically imagining all of this. As a person with anxiety, I feel like I need answers and when I don’t get them, I spiral down so many rabbit holes just to try to find them. I looked up my symptoms plenty of times and would always come across endometriosis and even have women in my family with it that confirmed that their experience was the same so while I waited for doctors to take me serious, I leaned on the internet, my mom and aunties to get some type of relief. Once I got the diagnosis, I felt like I could breathe, like I was finally heard and I was on my way to feeling better. All that said, I was put on medication to help with the symptoms and sadly after a year there was no change, so the next option was to have a surgery called a hysterectomy. At 30 years old I was told that all of my reproductive organs would need to be taken out in order to get rid of the terrible pain and heavy bleeding. Truthfully, I was sad that this was my only option left but I had all three of my kids and I had already had my tubes tied so having more was not in my plan. I think the fact that in order to feel okay on a daily I had to lose parts of me was what made me emotional, like why did it have to be so extreme? It’s just never that simple with me. I was emotional but I was ready for change, so I was scheduled a few months out. During the appointments leading up to the surgery I was asked questions that were actually very scary to think about but it was understandable that they had to ask especially being so young. I remember getting so much information about the changes my body may feel afterwards, how my hormones may be disrupted and then being asked things like “if all three of your kids were to die, would you be 100% okay with not having any more children?” “if your partner decided they wanted another child and it was a dealbreaker, would you regret having the procedure?” just off the wall questions but obviously I would never be able to replace my babies so even if something terrible like that were to happen I wouldn’t want to try to fill their absence with more kids. If my husband was crazy enough to want another child then he has a perfectly fine organ that works extremely well and he can go elsewhere (just kidding, he knows better). {{Side note: I don’t know why I talk so much shit because I know my ass would cry lol}}. But seriously, we talked about it plenty and we were both on the same page and very happy with our three kiddos and babysitting when that baby fever decided to pop up. Anyways, I am now a year post op and yes, so many things are better BUT I was unaware that I can still have endometriosis pain which is what I’m dealing with currently. I’m now in the process of figuring out my next option and possibly getting another surgery. This is something I have become passionate about because it goes untreated and is misdiagnosed often in women, especially young women and it is a lot more common than people know. My experience may not be the same as the next but I know that I struggled with doctors pushing my very real symptoms to the side and resulted in me suffering for years. I am very aware that, being young, being a black woman and struggling with mental health all played a part. Instead of just taking it and letting it be what it was I’ve learned to fight for myself, trust my body and stand firm in what I feel I need. This time around I do have a great doctor who listens and set me up for all of the proper testing so I am confident that it will go a lot smoother. I know that this will be a journey but I know I am not alone, it’s all part of my story.
To be continued....
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