Today is an interesting day because I am currently at home eating jello and drinking chicken broth. I also have a gallon of a prescribed laxative that I have to finish by 8pm tonight, can’t have any solid food at all, only clear liquids so I am just over here full of happiness. I wanted really badly to have a double double animal style from in-n-out yesterday but my anxiety around all of this caused my appetite to disappear. So now, of course I am sitting here starving at 10 am, and I have over 24 hours left before I can eat again.
Now that my hangry rant is over, let me explain why I am on this clear liquid diet for the day. I’ve been dealing with stomach issues for a couple of years now. I have been treated for IBS and had multiple test done to check for stomach bacteria, the test came back normal and the treatment I was given did not help the situation. I continued to let my doctor know and pushed to see a specialist. I was sent to a gastrologist who decided he wanted to perform an endoscopy which goes down my throat to check my insides, a colonoscopy which goes inside the other end of my body to check for signs of chrons disease and a biopsy to make sure there is no cancer. I was told these procedures together would be less than an hour and I will be put to sleep and should be back to normal within a couple days. It definitely sounds simple and easy enough but you know my anxiety has me thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong. Regardless of if it's a two-second-long procedure or a two-hour long procedure, I am extremely nervous. There are so many factors that play into what goes on in my mind, I don't like to have my kids worried so I have been playing it cool for the most part, I hate missing anything that they have going such as the fact that my son has a basketball game tonight and after drinking this laxative I’m sure I won't be able to leave my toilet long enough to sit through his game. The ones who truly know me I’m sure believe that I will do whatever I can to figure out some way to go watch my baby play, but is it realistic? Probably not, and I don’t want to embarrass him by not making it to the restroom in time and have him fighting kids for laughing at his mom. And just like that I took it to a place it didn’t need to go. But, anyways, all of that to say, I am completely in my feels about not being able to eat, possibly missing my sons' game, getting put to sleep and whatever results may come from this. I will be keeping you all updated with this process and you guys please keep me in your prayers. I’ll be home drinking this nasty drink and eating my jello and broth so all the positive vibes are needed because my attitude is already a little ugly.
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